Can You Keep a Secret?

Emma is like every girl in the world.

She has a few little secrets.

Secrets from her mother:

1. 1 lost my virginity in the spare bedroom to
2. Danny Nussbaum while Mum and Dad were downstairs watching Ben Hur.
   … From her boyfriend:
3. I’m a size twelve. Not a size eight, like Connor thinks.
4. I’ve always thought Connor looks a bit like Ken.
   As in Barbie and Ken.
   … From her colleagues:
5. When Artemis really annoys me, I feed her plant orange juice. (Which is pretty much every day)
6. It was me who jammed the copier that time.
   In fact, all the times.

Secrets she wouldn’t share with anyone in the world:

1. My G string is hurting me.
2. I faked my Maths GCSE grade on my CV.
3. I have no idea what NATO stands for.
   Or even what it is…